Three men approached with me out of nowhere, with perplexity sparkling in their eyes. One scratched his head.

“Celestina,” the tall black-haired one muttered. “A medieval name for a twenty-first century woman. Interesting.”

“My parents were history scholars.”

“Ah,” the blond man of average height nodded.

The quiet red-haired man tightened his lips and regarded me with the narrowed eyes of suspicion.

I threw up my arms as exasperation began to take hold and fear commenced to surround my heart with icy tendrils like the fingers of frost on a winter window.

“I was just murdered, and I want to know quite simply is, ‘Where to now?’”

“Interesting situation you have,” said the black-haired one.

I leaned forward on my heels slightly, curiosity taking over. “Who are you, or should I call you Numbers One, Two, and Three?” Okay, so I have a sense of humor.

The tallest one smirked then informed me his name was Edgar. His blond friend (whom he gestured to with one hand) was known as Immin, and the other was Alric.

“Those are odd names.”

“We died in the period you know as the Anglo-Saxon times,” Edgar informed me.

“Okay, so what’s up, fellas?” I put my hands on my hips in my practical way. “I don’t have to stay in this boring place, do I?”

“How would you describe the way you lived your life, Celestina?” Edgar, obviously the man in charge, tapped his lips with his index finger.

I frowned. “Some good, some bad.

“Everyone has lived their life with ‘some good, some bad.’”

“Indeed,” I uttered, smirking.

“Quantify, in your view, how much good versus, how much bad.”

I leaned back on my feet and put my hands in my pant pockets. “Oh Jeez, let’s see.” I thought about my life as flashes of it from my earliest days to the point I was killed raced through my mind like a quick 3-D movie. Then I stopped and drew my brows together.

“Could it be possible that my life was equally good and bad?”

“Yes. In fact, your life was so equally good and bad that I can, well, let me place before you an analogy.”

I gestured with my hand. “By all means.” I glanced around the cream-colored room. No scents, no texture, no nothing, only the color cream, a very neutral hue if I should say so.

“Well, Celestina, Imagine a painted line on the ground, about an inch thick. On one side of the line, you have light, and on the other you have darkness. Place a feather on the line. Each act or thought, or feeling that you have blows the feather in one direction or the other like a soft breeze. Most people die with the feather well on one side or the other. In your case, it’s dead center. We haven’t seen a case like this in many centuries. Even when it comes close, the feather might be mostly on the line and one kind comment put the soft edge of the plume over the line toward the light.”

I shivered, cleared my throat, and touched my neck with my hand. “So where does this leave me?”

“We have a task for you. Then it will be determined.”

Amusement glowed in his dark eyes now. I couldn’t read Immin’s stoic expression, and Alric’s eyes simmered his distaste for me, still narrowed under a furrowed brow. Only Edgar spoke.

“Why you? Why were you sent to speak with me and not a relative?” I asked.

“We had the same situation as you, the total neutrality centuries ago.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Celestina,” he scratched his chin, “You have to steal the keys from the gatekeeper to hell. Kill him.”

“What?” I screeched, bulging eyes, stumbling backwards.

“Then you can be admitted to the light.”

I gasped.

“Celestina, the blackheart guarding it now, ‘killed’ so to speak the other keeper and has been letting dark beings out. They have been causing much trouble. If we get those keys, we can give them to another worthy being for keeping.”

“Oh my God.”

Suddenly I was transported into a heavy, dark red room as stuffy as hell. I chuckled at the sick irony of that. I could barely draw in breath. The sickening heat caused rivers of perspiration to drip down the back of my neck, my sides, my belly, my legs…and the humidity must have been 100 percent. It smelled of, you guessed it, sulfur. I rubbed my nose and coughed.

Several ‘men’ and I use the term loosely, were sitting around at tables. Everyone one of them carried sour expressions, frowns galore, general malcontent. The scent of smoke added to the challenge of the perception of breathing, for I knew that I was no longer breathing. I walked around and took hits from their eyes like arrows piercing my skin. In fact, every time one of them looked at me, I muttered ‘Ow’ because it hurt. Little drops of blood oozed out with every glare sent my way.

Then in my head I heard Edgar’s voice saying, “Every time on earth you cast an ugly look upon someone, you did this to their soul.”

I gulped and wiped one trickle of blood with the tip of my finger, feeling a wave of regret wash over me when a memory came to mind. Once in high school I gave a girl a dirty look because she was wearing the shirt I wanted to buy but couldn’t afford to.

I kept walking, casting my gaze around the leaden room then leaned over and touched my knees. “God it’s hard to draw breath in here. The heat, the stench-“

Suddenly the air under my nose became light and cool. I drew in a deep breath and stood up, smiling. My heart rejoiced as I saw in my mind’s eye the day I emptied my wallet, walked into a store, purchased a blanket, came out and handed it to a homeless girl.

The heat of the room still pressed upon me like a wet blanket, but now I could breathe easily as a little cloud of lavender-scented cool air floated under my nose with every step I took.

Grunts and groans crackled in the red atmosphere, and I knew then I wasn’t even in hell. I walked around a sort of antechamber outside the gates. Side to side my head went, observing this hideous ‘hell-hole’.

Finally I saw him, standing by a tall, wide, ugly scarred and singed door of dilapidated wood. Blood marks smeared in long streaks across it. Distorted handprints edged it. I pictured people clinging to the door desperately trying not to get sucked in. But this is not what disturbed me.

Standing against the door, leaning with his ankles crossed, twirling a large ring with a single black key around his finger was the man I was in love with. My heart thundered in my chest, and tears stung my eyes. I bent over. He stood up and I saw his eyes widen.

“Celestina?”

“What the hell are you doing here, Vic?” I straightened and took a couple of steps, putting only a foot between us. He touched my shoulder, and I swooned, dizzy. The moments leading up to my death showered down on me with drops of fire. He held the gun to my chest. Crack! Everything turned red. I crumpled to the ground, dead.

“Why?” I squeaked out.

He cupped my cheek with his hand. I closed my eyes. Tears spilled onto my face.

“Celestina, I hate you.”

My eyes snapped open, and I stepped back. He shook his head and scoffed. I drew in a deep breath through my nose. “Why?” I said this with a scratchy voice.

“You’re a murderer.”

I tightened my jaw and shifted it all the while clenching my fists into little balls. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

“It was you, and you never told me.”

“I didn’t find out you were Ritchie’s brother until the end.”

“You knew he loved you! When he threatened suicide, you laughed at him, and said, ‘sure, go ahead!’”

Vic stepped forward threateningly, fury like fire in his eyes. I actually saw little flames in his pupils and looked down and sighed.

“A terrible mistake. I didn’t take him seriously. I had no compassion.”

“Slut.”

My head snapped up until I met his direct gaze. “Now he’s in there!” He spit out savagely, and thrust his head in the direction of the door before glaring at me again. “I had to kill the gate-keeper. I had to get control until I can figure out how to get my brother out of there.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Celestina, you bitch. You don’t need to.”

“You let out terrible beings.”

“Just little ones, ones that have promised to help me. I will hunt them down if they don’t,” Vic swore.

“Surely the boss will have something to say about this.”

He laughed. “He allowed it, for whatever reasons.”

“God wouldn’t want this.”

“God sent you.”

I gasped. He stepped close and gently dragged his fingertip along the side of my jaw. He lowered his eyes seductively, parted his lips softly, and bent his face an inch from mine. My heart sped up as love flowed through my veins, heating me up internally. “I love you,” I muttered.

I imagined our lovemaking. A shiver of intense admiration for him, standing here, so strong to be able to do what he did, coursed through my imaginary blood.

“We could enjoy the ecstasy of each other’s touch again,” he breathed into my mouth. “I always did enjoy it, incredibly.”

My head spun, and I trembled. He reached and brushed a strand of my hair off of my shoulder and it fell behind my back. Tingling arousal prickled my skin as love and lust burned through me, making me crave his touch. I pressed my lips to his and drew his tongue into my mouth, kissing him with depth. His warm tongue tasted like the champagne we used to enjoy together, laughing in front of my fireplace.

He grasped the back of my head and moaned, pressing his body against mine, rocking his hips. I tossed my head back and he placed hot kisses along my neck.

“No one will interrupt us,” he breathed out. “No one is due here for three months.”

I don’t know how or why, but in the midst of my fiery desire it occurred to me to ask, “But you hate me?”

“Yes, but I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman. You’re the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. My God, woman. You drive me insane.”

I pulled back and looked into his flushed face, the urgent look flashing in his eyes. His chest moved quickly, and his brow was crinkled. I knew that look. He wanted to do delicious things to me, and his desire for me was indeed insane. He had rushed me wickedly with the wildest pleasurable love-making of my life whenever he had touched me before.

I was tempted.

A vision of dashing and pulling a child out of the path of a rushing car rippled in my mind. I tossed her out of harm’s way but tripped. The car ran over my leg and broke it. It wasn’t that I was neither good nor evil, I was both, equally. And now I knew the folly in that.

Sadness crept into my heart and melted my lust into regret. I couldn’t do this. Yes, I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. Yes, I had loved him and not his brother, whom I had used and drove to suicide.

I brushed a strand of dark-brown hair from his brow. Desire glittered in his chestnut eyes. I looked at his luscious lips and longed to kiss him again. Holding my breath, I lifted my gaze to his gorgeous eyes once again. “I love you,” I muttered with a tremulous voice.

He smirked, hauntingly. I slowly reached for the key-ring in his left hand. He twitched his jaw and allowed me to touch the cold metal. I stroked it slowly dragging my finger around it. His eyes grew darker. “You could be doing that to me or me to you,” he said huskily.

“Hand me the keys, Vic.”

“Never.”

I leaned and placed my lips on his, barely making contact. I took the tip of my tongue and moistened his bottom lip. He grasped my arms. I sighed and smiled like a devil.

“Little tramp, let me do things to you.”

“Give me the keys.”

“You will have to destroy me to get them.”

“How about I seduce you instead? I’ll wager supernatural sex is much hotter than earthly pleasure.”

“It is.”

My eyes widened. I noticed that ugly cracking wooden door behind him and the red air around us then focused on him once again.

“You’re not getting those keys unless you kill me and send me behind that door.”

I blinked away sudden tears. “I…I have to get those keys. Please Vic. I’ll be behind that door if I don’t.”

“No,” he said firmly. He stepped back, and I saw his lips move, expressing silent words. Then out of the blue, or I should say red, appeared a jeweled dagger decorated with rubies. He gazed upon it with admiration. A puff of black smoke slowly disintegrated around it. I brushed the scent of burning coal away with my hand and looked at him.

God he was sexy.

“Here,” he thrust it my way.

“What?” I said, as amazement gave me icy tingles.

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you good, or are you evil? Decide now.”

I took the dagger in my shaking hand. He placed his warm hand over mine and I was flooded with the sense that he loved me. I blinked. He loves me.

Desperately, his heart told mine.

“I can’t do this! I can’t kill you, Vic!”

“I killed you, moments after I found out the truth about what you had done, right after I found the note my brother had left.”

“It was our wedding day. I was going to be your wife, Victor. You shot me in my wedding dress.”

His jaw tightened.

“I can’t kill you, Vic.”

The door creaked open with a loud ominous cracking sound. An inch of black light flowed out and tortuous screams escaped. The putrid smell of vomit and smoke choked me.

“You have failed, Celestina! God needed you! Only you, you selfish girl, only you could do this job!” A voice from behind the door roared.

“Please Vic! Give me the keys!” I grasped for them, and he ripped his arm away from my reach.

“Say hi to my brother.”

My feet slid toward the door, pulling me. “No! No! I don’t want to go! No!” I cried and screamed.

He stepped aside and the door opened widely. “Vic, help! I love you!”

“Use the dagger you stupid bitch! Save yourself! Kill me!” Tears glistened in his eyes.

As I slid, I lifted my hand, holding the weapon near him.

“Do it! I hate you, Celestina! Please, save yourself!”

I brought it down but stopped short. I got sucked in behind the door, dropped the dagger and grabbed the edge of the wooden atrocity with both hands, screaming. My legs and body were in the air as the black hole tried to claim me.

I glanced up into his face once more. “It’s either him or you,” a silent voice whispered.

I let go and spiraled into the dark depths of the horror around me.

I woke up hands and feet chained to a wall, slash marks from a whip cut across me, leaving my clothes and skin shredded and bloody. Every part of me throbbed. My parched throat and cracked lips longed for water.

“You’re not getting any.”

The voice came from nowhere.

“I’m not going to show myself.”

“Who are you?”

“The devil.”

I closed my eyes. “Release Ritchie.”

Cruel, deep laughter filled the rank cave and echoed.

“No.”

“But I sacrificed myself.”

“For Victor so I will allow him to stay on that side of the door.”

My lip trembled. “I will do more work for you if you will let Ritchie and Victor walk out of here and cross over to the light. For I know that God would accept them if they had love and regret in their hearts.”

“He would,” the voice snapped, “and they do.”

“Let them go.”

“What would you do for me?”

“What would you have me do?”

“I could think of a few things.”

God, I was thirsty. “Water, please.”

More laughter. “You’re in hell. You will spend every day like this.”

“Unless I work for you.”

“Yes. But you do realize that if your actions concerning Victor put that feather one bit over the line to the light, you will blow it back this way with the force of a tornado by working for me?”

“Yes, but they will be saved.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I love Victor, and I regret what I did to his brother.”

I heard the snap of fingers and the chains cracked open with a loud metallic sound. I landed with both feet on the cold stone ground and stumbled.

“Stand up.”

I did, after stumbling.

“Hold out your hands.”

I did and a tall cold glass of water appeared in my hands.

“Drink, employee.”

My hand shook so hard when I lifted the glass to my lips that water spilled out and landed on my feet. I hesitated when the glass touched my lips. The cold essence of the water was a tiny piece of heaven.

“Do you dare take a sip?”

I closed my eyes.

“They will be released.”

I gulped, thinking, “For Victor and Ritchie.”

*****

I stood at the ugly door holding the same key-ring that Victor had held, swirling it around my fingers. Months of this mind-numbing experience passed without incident. I got lucky with this job, but how long could it last before he called me to something really bad? I quivered in fear.

Edgar’s voice called in my mind telling me I was meant to be the one to replace Victor. I did a good job because I never let little hell-hounds escape past that door. He and his friends were very pleased. I saluted the air as if they were standing before me and thought of God and wondered why I wasn’t punished for it. Edgar told me that God protected my thoughts, and they remained secret, away from the evil one.

One day to my complete surprise, a ray of white light sparkled in the distance of the dark red around me. A figure appeared, a man. He came closer, and I inhaled sharply. Victor.

He stood before me, smiling with the warmth of an angel in his white suit. Love radiated from every part of him. My heart beat wildly and I smiled.

He parted his lips. “Celestina, God has heard your thoughts. He wanted me to show you what your sacrifice has bought.”

Tears streamed down my face. My hand trembled as I touched his cheek. “You’re in Heaven.”

“Yes, and it’s beautiful, Celestina. Thank you. I can never thank you enough. Ritchie is there too.”

He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. Then he backed away, turned around and walked away. The white light appeared. He went into it. It swallowed him up then disappeared. The room was dark, heavy red once again. I cried.

“Thank you God, thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome.”

Warmth tingled throughout me from head to toe; not the suffocating heat of the room, but cozy, comfy warmth.

For the next who knows how long, I smiled every day, leaning against that door, remembering the absolute beauty and happiness that surrounded my beloved Victor, my thoughts protected and kept from the dark one.

One day I heard that horrible voice. “Celeste!”

I stood to attention. The ugly one appeared before me in a cloud of smelly pitch-black smoke.

“Yes?”

“You’re not supposed to smile! Why are you smiling?”

I dropped my smile immediately. “I don’t know.”

“You do!”

The booming sound of thunder shook the entire room. A huge fierce battle-angel dressed in white and gold stood before us bellowing, “Let her go, now!”

“You will have to take her from me!”

“So be it! You know the rules!”

A string of curses spewed from the dark one’s mouth.

“Or shall I call Michael?” The angel glanced my way.

“No, no, fine. Take her!”

I was terrified, more afraid of this warrior in white before me than of the evil presence. I pressed against the door, my palms flat on the cruddy wood of the surface.

“Come, Celestina.”

I gulped, not wanting to piss off this scary messenger of light. I nodded and shook as I stepped toward the angel.

He grabbed my hand and the dark creature near disappeared. A padlock appeared on the door.

“No one is really needed for that door, Celestina,” the beautiful voice muttered, filling me with ecstasy. “It was all a set-up. God wanted to prove you belonged with him. He didn’t have to, but he did.”

I sobbed and the angel embraced me. I sighed into his protective chest.

“Come now, Celestina. It’s time to go home.”

We floated up. Among the light, Victor greeted me. He embraced me and kissed me passionately. When I pulled away I said, “We’re in Heaven.”

He laughed and nodded toward earth. He took my hand. “We’re going back.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“Tell that to God, if you dare.”

“I do not.”

He laughed again. I stood in my silky, lacy wedding dress, my sheer veil pulled up and over my head. He held the gun my way, ready to send me to the next world. I looked into his confused eyes and whispered with love, “Remember.”

Tears glistened in his eyes. He dropped the gun and pulled me into a hungry kiss.

Epilogue: We spent our lives blowing that feather farther and farther into the light at every given opportunity.